I too am burdened with Monkey Mind! I apologize and take FULL responsibility for this. I hope that you will forgive me and CONTINUE to read my blog in all its GLORIOUS disjointedness.
I left the last entry with a comment about standards and the image of me as a viola player:
I began to play the Viola in 6th grade I believe. I was a student at Seth Low Intermediate School 96 (I.S. 96). My teacher's name was Michael Kushel. Mr. Kushel was a great guy and he wanted us to play, but sadly he never taught us to read music....I will NEVER understand that. It was not like we were incapable of learning....Duh. Anyway, when I entered HS I continued to play, memorizing pieces and writing in notes on sheet music.
While in HS, I auditioned for a place in the All City Orchestra. I was so serious about that opportunity that I convinced my father to pay for me to take private lessons with a Viola teacher in Sheepshead Bay (Brooklyn, NY). I think her name was Ms. Epstein. She was a lovely old woman…a very, very, very old woman. She LOVED children and she was a wonderful teacher. She taught me how to read music…well she TRIED. We focused on one piece of music that I would play at the audition. Every weekend I either traveled by train or was dropped off at her house with my borrowed Viola...I played and played and played.
When I arrived for the audition at Julliard, there were sooo many kids there (including Ed, the first chair from my school). I don't remember being worried about them at all. I remember thinking it was GREAT that Ed was there too! I played the piece that I’d memorized (maybe the New World Symphony) and then they said “Alright Ms. Hicks please play this piece.” Sight reading...I was DOOMED!
I did not get into the All City Orchestra, but Ed did! Wow…we were all so very proud of him. A Kid from our school in the All City orchestra?
What is the point, you may ask:
I never even thought TWICE about NOT really being able to read music. What the hell was I even doing at Julliard? I mean really?
I was determined and unafraid.
Determined and UNAFRAID. That is what I remember about myself.
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Weigh-In with words!
Hey,
ReplyDeleteI meant to write in earlier. This really resonates with me at this point in my life. I remember registering for classes as a freshman at Middlebury and truly believing I could take on any class I wanted and that I would find success in it. I had incredible, almost naive confidence; similar to what you illustrate with your viola experience. Now, as I look towards grad school, I wish I could recapture that brash belief in myself and my ability to achieve. I'm too easily intimidated as I enter this process. Thank you for sharing this!!
Ellie